8 Must-Ask Questions Prior to Proposal
Most people who are on the cusp of proposing/being proposed to are familiar with the standard questions which you should ask your potential new betrothed. Such inquiries, ubiquitously regarded as mandatory, include “Do you want kids, and how will they be raised?”, “Where do you see yourself in 20+ years?”, “What religion do you practice?” and “What’s your financial status?” There are a few more topics which should be broached as well, just to fully ensure everyone is one the same premarital page. Some of these may be a little awkward to bring up, but you probably want to know if your intended spouse incessantly plays World of Warcraft all night or is a communist, right?
Any children / pets / spongy relatives I don’t know about?
Some people live their lives by the “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule. If not prompted, they may never disclose the fact that they have a 12 foot long pet Komodo dragon in their attic, a gambling addicted cousin who “needs to crash for a few…months” or are the matriarch/patriarch of a whole other family, replete with 6 offspring, residing in Des Moines that they live with when on “business trips.” Sometimes you just have to ask.
Any (other) strange relatives I don’t know about?
If you’re at the point of almost agreeing to get hitched, you’ve probably met most of your beloved’s family. This means you’ve encountered the whack jobs (every single clan has them, no need to feel ashamed of your conspiracy-theory-spouting great uncle with the monstrous monobrow). However, there sometimes lurks an abominable creature of such epic proportions that they are never even mentioned until after the nuptials have been legally confirmed and eternal vows have been spoken. At this point, it’s too late to protest when a Bigfoot-hunting hillbilly cousin shows up at your wedding reception, with a poorly wrapped, “fresh” roadkill raccoon as a present.
I know what’s currently in your bank account…but what/who do you owe??
Look, there’s nothing wrong with being financially destitute, as long as they are totally honest about it. Even if your soon to be fiance-ed partner has shown you that they have zero available funds, there may also be a sizable debt chimera churlishly pursuing their every move. You need to explicitly ask and find out how much they owe, and to whom. If it’s 18 grand in student loans, that is something you can both work at mitigating. If it’s 100+ k to “Louie the Finger,” you may want to think twice before you walk down the aisle with this potential “hit” target.
Have any of your exes “boiled bunnies?”
Of course it’s only natural that your honey boo has had some previous relationships (if they haven’t, and you aren’t still in high school, this may be yet another crimson flag). Even if you do not desire to dig deep into their love life past, you should gently inquire if there are any grudge holding, spell casting, stalkerific exes waiting in the bushes for you. This is not necessarily a deal breaker, you just should be prepared (with mace, a machete or judo chops).
Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the _____ party?
Sure, you and your cuddle muffin are most likely in agreement about important political and social issues …but were they once an active participant in a violent coup, fervently sporting an anti-aircraft rifle? Yes, people can change, but if your relationship has progressed from mere dalliances to the hope of an entire life spent together, it can be vital to know of any lingering affiliations with incendiary organizations or conflicting ideologies they may be harboring. There is no circumstance where it won’t behoove you to know if they used to conduct naked rituals in moonlit forests, offering up sacrifices to various lunar deities. Nothing divides a family like differences in faith or politics…and sometimes tornados, of course.
Who’s gonna do what?
In the America of today, both parties in a relationship often have jobs/careers that they are quite vested in. What this leads to is not a whole lot of free time to allocate for chores/home maintenance. Well, so what? The deal is that you need to figure out who is going to be responsible for what in advance, otherwise you may find yourself in a month long game of chicken with your lover over who’s taking out the recyclables. If neither of you like to cook, but both savor delicious homemade tagliatelle bolognese for dinner and western omelets at dawn, you either need to hire a live-in chef, work out a compromise or go your insatiable, separate ways.
Kids: when, how, where, why…what’s the deal?
The super blatantly obvious topic of kids really need not be addressed here, as you clearly will have spoken to your partner about this already…or have you? You can’t be apprehensive about asking your beau if they a) want kids at all, b) want to raise them in a particular fashion (say, for instance, solely speaking French), c) how many of the little nuggets do you want scuttling about, d) when do you want them disrupting/enriching your lives, and e) who’s taking time off to initially rear the little adorable runts? Get all this out of the way (along with any other …eccentric requests regarding your offspring) and you’ll be all set and can avoid the morass of opposing child upbringing doctrines. Then you just have to deal with actually feeding, clothing and iPhoning them…
Who’s in charge of planning out the perennially-pressure-packed-to-be-perfect wedding day?
The rules of wedding planning have changed a fair amount over the last decade or so. What was once a “bride-to-be” specific activity is now open territory, as giddy grooms want in on the action. Lest we forget, possible interloping parents in the equation. There’s a solid chance there are going to be a lot of (often imperious) personalities and opinions flying around. Have an open talk about where you want this blessed day to take place, who is invited, how much ground you’re actually going to let your parents cover and who exactly is paying for this thing (which on average costs around 30k in these glorious United States we live in). Better to have this convo now, than later when one of you excitedly suggests a destination wedding at a remote chateau, yet your partner has their heart set on the Elks Lodge in town.
Hopefully everyone will be able to tackle any and all unresolved issues before sparkly diamond cynosures are slipped on ring fingers. If things simply can not be worked out, and you happen to be stuck with a diamond ring (or, they are temporarily worked out, and only later are you stuck with the dang thing), there is at least a place you can sell it off for a sizable amount. Diamond Lighthouse takes in all diamonds (1 carat and higher), and helps you recover lost funds. We do not buy diamonds, rather we aid you in selling yours to a vetted network of professional buyers. We take a commission from the sale (10% on those 1 carat and larger stones), so we naturally want to get you the highest amount possible.
Getting cash back for unneeded diamond jewelry of any nature is always a step in the right direction. Then you will be even better prepared to get out there and find the right person for you: someone who doesn’t have insane relatives or allegiances to despotic rulers or evil entities.